Could I possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder?

My father passed away when I was 13 or 12 I can't remember he was a meth head and alcoholic and I found him he had a heart attack and was laying there my mom started just grinning and I started grinning then I couldn't find the phone and then my brothers friend let us use his cell phone and they revived him and took him to the E.R. I took money out of his wallet I don't know why I did that what the hell is wrong with me then the paramedic left his walky talky thing and said "sorry your father didn't make it" I was so depressed and praying I'm so sorry daddy for being mean to him before he died and I was also starting to get OCD and depression at a young age before he had cancer and I barricaded myself in my room my mom didn't care if I went to school when my father passed away she left me home alone all the time I was all alone she wouldn't answer the phone when I tryed to call her and talk to her I would trash her room egg her room and write "whore" on her door because I was so upset she left me all alone and was drunk all the time and gave me pot and booze all the time and my older brother then hit me when I told him to mind his business I kept yelling help at like age 14 out the window but they took ME to a foster home and didn't arrest him for hitting me and smacking my head into the wall I was gone for 6 months and I stayed with my aunt for a few months but she didn't even want me just because I took too long of showers I find it really hard now that I am 22 and I am gonna be 23 in October to hold relationships and friendships I grin and bear it I think everyone hates me and I am so angry my dad is gone and I wished death on him and that my mom let me do drugs and left me all alone I have a car and try so hard to have relationships but I get angry and think everyone is out to get me and that people are talking about me ever since I was younger too and I tryed to kill myself with pills a few weeks ago and I always been a cutter I don't know if I subconciously did it for attention I feel so screwed up I am prescribed Luvox 150mg but I don't take them and I can't afford my Zyprexa I am prescribed Klonopins 0.5mg but they seem to make me kind of "hype" I self medicate with alcohol but I don't drink everyday people seem to like me and I am a very nice person but I keep thinking about killing myself and shooting myself behind my garage all I do is worry and that God is going to punish me with a illness and I am going to die or someones going to kill me and I feel so empty and alone and no one understands me I try to keep it to myself I tell my new boyfriend about it but I am sure he is going to get annoyed by it eventually I don't know what to do anymore I have been to the psychward like 20 times through out my life then my mom would give me 20 sacks of pot when I would get out of the Children's Hospital Psychiatric Ward I don't smoke pot no more I take my Klonopins and I will take Valiums if possible and drink at partys I try to so hard to please everyone but I don't feel like I am doing it really for myself and my mom niece used to tell me I look like I have dyke features and I sometimes think I am really good looking then sometimes I think I am ugly and I am disgusted with myself and can't let my mistakes go and just learn from them I feel I am going to burn in hell or that I am in hell and I scare myself before I fall asleep in the REM state I think "I wonder if there is a heaven.." then I jerk out of my sleep and I am frightened and am scared of riots in 2012 what the hell is wrong with me!? I see a psychiatrist but I don't know I can't think when I am in the room with him HELP ME PLEASE THANK YOU I NEED ADVICE.

RAMADAN: WHAT IS THE MEANING TO "SHIA" ACCORDING TO QURAN?

You are twisting those verses . Imam does not mean "only" your 12 holy Imams , that is not what the Quran is saying you dummy go learn some Arabic first.

How do I tell this guy that I like him?

I just moved here, and my cousin is friends with this one kid. Anyways, I think that "Jimmy" might be gay..But how do I tell him that I like him? Is he even gay? He wears skinny jeans..And him and his bestfriend give each other piggy back rides and hug each other (we're almost 15) and when someone asks him if he's gay, he completely freaks out and yells at them..Are these signs? I sure hope so..Also, how do I tell him that I like him??

Where can I buy the book Lost from Her Majesty's Back?

Okay, I originally wanted to buy the book from Amazon, then I realized it is sold out. Any idea where I can buy the book? Please help, I am willing to pay for it!!!

I like to be alone in the morning, is it normal?

depending on your age . but if your a teenager im guessing thats normal . i never had a choice of people not entering my room in the morning because i shared a room . but maybe if i had my own room i think i would feel the same .

Was Emperor Haile Selassie a Freemason and Was He A Puppet to the British Royalty?

I don't know about his freemason connection or him being a puppet of British royalty. Mind you some weird christian cults have sprung up centering around Selassie and the royal family such as British Israel ism ( the UK and the USA are part of the 12 tribes of Israel and Queen Elizabeth II is the Queen of Israel !! ) the 12 tribes of Israel cult (Jesus was black and the 12 tribes settled in Africa !!) and the similar Rastafarian cult ( Selassie was the coming messiah and he wanted his followers to get permanently stoned by smoking dope every day !! )

How would i find a lost cat?

Ok so a week ago june 21 2011, (skip to the bottom if you are lazy and want to get to the point)my cat DooDoo who is 1 year old and is a siamese lynx cat male(neutered) and he escaped late at night and i have done a lot of research on how to find my cat but i haven't had any luck finding him. he is non timid so he probably went far but he has come back last time he got out. he also chases other cats and hunts in forests far from our house. now this time he got out at night so i was wondering since we are sorounded by HUGE forests and fields, were he would have gone? we looked and yelled EVERYWHERE! we put flyers everywhere and we have only got one call about a dead cat simalar to our cat but he was found almost 10 miles away from our house. is it possible for a cat to go that far? let me remind you he is not afraid of anything, not even cars. also would he re-home himself after a week? PLEASE HELP! hes a major part of our family. we also have 2 outside cats that CANNOT come inside.